Happy New Year, folks!
In my first post, I shared the “why” behind my writing journey: the influence of Sister Souljah, my writing during work commutes, and the spark of an idea that became Doppel Paladin.
But if I’m being completely honest, there’s a big question I left hanging: Why did it take 11 years to go from that notebook to a published book?
The truth isn’t just one thing. It was a combination of real life, real bills, and a very real struggle with perfection.
A Tribute and a Reality Check
Before I dive in, I have to mention something that touched my heart recently. Since my last post, the literary world lost a light that meant so much to me, Sophie Kinsella. As I told you before, reading the Confessions of a Shopaholic series was the reason I wanted to be a writer. Her passing really hit home for me. It was a sobering reminder that our time to tell our stories isn’t infinite. We can’t wait for the perfect moment, because that moment isn’t promised.
The Financial Reality & The Perfection Trap
Can I have a ‘truth moment’ with you guys? Publishing a book properly is an investment. For a long time, I genuinely didn’t have the funds to publish Doppel Paladin the way it deserved to be published. As a mom with a full life, there were always other priorities and other bills.
But looking back, the delay helped me grow. I spent years waiting for everything to be flawless, the budget, the timing, and my skill level. I eventually realized that no matter how much I wanted things to be perfect… it wasn’t going to happen. I couldn’t let my idea of perfection prolong my dreams any longer. Perfection is just fear in a fancy dress, and I had to stop letting it keep me from my goals.
The Gym and the 90% Rule
If you follow me on TikTok or IG, you already know I’m an avid gym-goer. It’s my therapy and my reset button. I believe 90% of life is just confidence. But for me, that confidence is rooted in something deeper.
I didn’t learn how to stand tall at a writer’s retreat; I learned it at the gym, and I sustained it through my faith. In the gym, when you’re staring down a weight that looks impossible, you can’t be unsure about it. You have to walk up to that bar with the absolute certainty that you were built to move it.
I realized that what I’d been calling imposter syndrome was really me doubting the gifts I already possessed. Once I stopped obsessing over my limits and leaned more into my faith, things began to fall into place. I stopped waiting to feel ready and started trusting the purpose I was meant to walk in.
Mya vs. Me: The Mirror of Resistance
I see a lot of myself in my protagonist, Mya Yu. On social media, I’ve shared snippets of her aesthetic, the mood, the intensity, and sometimes the tears. People may wonder why she seems so burdened.
The truth is, Mya and I were struggling with the same thing at the same time. She represents that part of us that just wants a normal, quiet, non-problematic life. She’s grieving the “normal” she thought she wanted while realizing she was built for greater. I was grieving the “easy” path to publishing while realizing my 11-year wait was actually my training ground. I had to grow into the woman who was strong enough to tell Mya’s story, and she had to grow into the hero strong enough to survive it.
Let’s Chat:
Is there a dream you’ve been holding onto because you’re waiting for the perfect time or the perfect version of yourself? What would happen if you just gave yourself that 90% confidence boost? I know it can be scary… but don’t let fear stop you from fulfilling your purpose.
Let’s encourage each other in the comments.
Until next time,
Lera Bishop
P.S. If you’re ready to see what happens when the normal life ends and the secret war begins, grab your copy of Doppel Paladin right here on the home page!